this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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