I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
