yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
