12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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