Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
