Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
