Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Randomize
