whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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