Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
