Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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