I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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