Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
