Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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