Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
