Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
