Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
