You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
