the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
