Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
