I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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