sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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