So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
What drink are we having for lunch?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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