did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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