Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
