its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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