yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
then he tried to convert me to islam
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
