Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
