Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
