Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize