grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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