your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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