Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
why do cheetos always look like penises
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
