it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
