don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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