there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
