someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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