maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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