Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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