the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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