So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
