Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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