Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
