I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
