Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
