i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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