Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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