omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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