Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
