Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He is an equal opportunity slut.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So much Jack, so little girl.
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