I don't remember. Are we still dating?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
