so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
