guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize