Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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