A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
did you just send me my own nude
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
